October 1st

October 1st....

Yes, it's the beginning of breast cancer awareness month, so the whole world seems to be coated in Pepto Bismol pink. Puke! 

Anyone know which month is dedicated to thyroid cancer awareness, so I can look forward to the entire Today show crew being draped in Teal, Purple and Fuchsia!?! I digress...

Yes, October 1st is also one of my very favorite persons' birthday (A, you know who you are).

And, yes today marks the day that I am no longer battling breast cancer, but am now an official BREAST CANCER SURVIVOR!!!!  

For those of you who know anything about aggressive cancer, the five year clock starts ticking .... NOW!!!

At approximately 10:30 am this morning, Dr. Mel Silverstein handed me a 6 page pathology report that basically said NOTHING!!!  The eight lymph nodes and multitude of skin and tissue samples removed from my breasts during surgery all came back negative.  In other words "no carcinoma detected" and "no metastases remaining".  

Dr. Silverstein - my Surgical Oncologist, Oncoplasty pioneer, teacher, and friend. 

This is, without a doubt, the best of all possible outcomes (a sly wink to Voltaire here). 

With my husband and son at my side, I was basically handed back my life.  The chemo worked so well that the cancerous cells were ALL dead before they even cut me open.  

Seeing as how my 60+ year old doctor held me just as tight, just as long, and shed almost as many tears as myself, I knew I was an exception to the rule of aggressive tumors.

I am happy. Of course, I am happy.  I am ecstatic! But, what next!?!  Well, five more weeks of surgical recovery, followed by radiation therapy five days a week for six weeks.  

Then what!?!  Yes, the air is fresher, the sun is brighter, and my children are that much more precious.  I get it, but then what!?!

How do soldiers coming back from war do it? How do sole survivors of tragedies resulting in huge losses of life do it? How do you go on!?!  

Obviously, you go on with a great deal of respect, gratitude, love and humility.  But, how in God's name, do you begin to thank the soldiers that lost their lives before you, the doctors that spent their entire life's work to see one case like mine, or the family, friends, and acquaintances that put their own lives and families on hold to make sure me and my family were well taken care of!?!

My prayers, and the prayers of so many have been answered, now what!?!

I guess I go back to living, but the angels over my shoulders have cheeky grins on their faces, and so do I as I lay my head down to sleep.  The cheeky grin comes from knowing what would be said and done at my funeral without actually having to die. It's a warm and comforting feeling. 

I have made some terrible mistakes.  I have wronged people, I have hurt people, but if I can continue living as good a life as I have led these first 35 years, and get even close to the same outpouring of love and support for my family as I have had in the last five months, I will live this life and leave this world with my head held high and with a cheeky grin on my face.

For now, I am not going anywhere! Thank you for your help slaying the Banshee! There will be no wailing here. 

With Love,

Tiff